He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
