but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
