Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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