no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
