D3 body, D1 cock
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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