so explain again why im purple
no
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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