can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
