I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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