My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
