By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize