She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
