Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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