I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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