the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
