The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
