absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
