I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
