your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
