If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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