either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
