Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
