So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
