walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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