Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
