wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
