i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I currently don't understand fingers.
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