who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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