I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
