Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
