There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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