you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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