never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
two words: eviction party
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just found puke in my bra..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
