she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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