We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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