There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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