Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we made out on top of his cat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
