just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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