is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
