What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
