guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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