But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?