Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
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No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.