Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.