At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
