So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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