It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
