Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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