she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
