Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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