why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
