Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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