First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
