We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
