I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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