I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
