the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize