well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
