You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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