If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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