take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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