shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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